It starts with breaking free of being a victim of your past and a slave to your future.
Do you ever feel like your spark has gone?
You look back at old photos and feel jealous of your former self. You were glowing and vibrant and free of commitments and worries. And damn, how perky was your butt?
It’s okay, you tell yourself. You’ll get back there. When work settles down, when you lose your baby paunch, when your kids start school, when you have time to breathe…
Then you’ll be yourself again. Then you’ll be happy.
This mindset is super common for women. But there’s something wrong with this picture. By being a victim to your past image or a slave to your future self, you’re missing something pretty damn important.
Here’s a bit of tough love for you. The past has been and gone – it’s not coming back. And as for that ideal self that lives in the future? She might never arrive, at least not in the way you think.
We’re experts at tuning out the now – whether it’s daydreaming or scrolling mindlessly on our phones. But by overcoming our discomfort with the present, we can unlock the key to creating meaningful, lasting change in our lives.
But it’s too hard to make changes, I hear you say. I’m too tired. I’m too busy. I’m too unmotivated.
And I hear you.
But I’ve got a secret to share with you.
Waiting around for results is draining. But actively working toward your results is energising. You’ll be shocked at how effortless it can feel when you tap into your own inner resources to move yourself to action.
In my two decades helping women improve their health and mindset, the ones who had the most drastic results actively create change instead of waiting for it to happen. They’re able to turn negative thinking about their bodies and constant comparison into compassion and self-positivity. Instead of not showing up in their life and business, they become fully engaged, involved and present with their business and their families. And they get out of the trap of being stuck in the past or paralysed by the future by moving into the NOW.
They often say things like:
“Ali, you are amazing.”
“This is magic.”
“You are a wizard.”
But they also say things like:
“OMG, it was always there.”
“I had it all this time. I just wasn’t using it.”
“What was I thinking? I can do this. I am doing it.”
The bottom line is: You have got this and you can do it – you just aren’t doing it!
So here is the question that determines what happens next: are you a victim/slave or are you a creator of the YOU that you dream and deserve to be? We all can take on both roles – but it’s up to you to consciously choose which you want to be. If you’re ready to move away from being a victim/slave and start the journey of a creator, here’s how to start.
- Create a solid plan for how you want to FEEL.
Your subconscious mind isn’t much for logic. But it’s fluent in understanding feelings. When you’re clear about how you want to feel, your mind will naturally gravitate toward actions that help you arrive at this state. For example, if you strive to feel at peace within yourself and consciously choose this as a goal, you will naturally read books that make you feel calm, choose meditation instead of a gym workout, or wear a dress that makes you feel relaxed (instead of what you think you look sexiest in).
- Figure out the logistics of this plan.
Are you hoping to create a more loving and energized you? Okay, in what context? With who? Where? How? Ask yourself questions like, ‘Where specifically in my life do I feel unloved and flat – work, home, in my whole life or is it coming from within? Am I feeling this lack of love and energy with a particular person, with everyone, or just myself? How much space have I got to create this energy and love? Does something else in my life need to go?’ The more detail you go into, the better. This means it becomes less a question of whether you can achieve it, but when you will.
- Understand that sustainable body image and positive self-perception is NOT achieved by reaching goals – it is a way of life.
Have you ever had a big goal but when you achieved it, you didn’t feel the sense of elation/pride/calm you hoped? That’s because being hyper-focused on the end goal deprives you of the feeling you actually desire by achieving that goal. Obsessively planning your life is micromanaging and it’s draining and ineffective. Instead, focus on the vision of yourself and the feeling you want to embody. Without spending any excess energy, your subconscious mind – the home for your feelings and emotions – will naturally take you there.
Do you want to do something that is a win-win for you as well as your family/business? Spend some time with yourself so you can create the YOU you are dreaming about but have not had time or motivation to spend time with. By creating this content and happy YOU, the good vibes will naturally flow onto everyone around you.
Are you looking to fast-track going deep to discover and embody your most content, vibrant self? Send me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org to set up a call, and we can discuss a coaching option that’s best for you.
PS. I get an awesome kick from hearing your stories so don’t be shy to share yours with me!